Where “there” is, I really couldn’t say. But I’m progressing, as it were, and I can tell that I’ve gotten past some of the things I was dealing with over the Spring.

I think this is a good thing, naturally, but the truth is, progress like this is like leaping from one lily pad to the next. I cannot stay where I’m at, and I’m definitely not on solid ground, just yet.

It feels like I go from transition to transition, without really arriving anywhere.  The higher I go, and the farther away I get from who I was before, the more I realize I am not finished with what I have to do, and who I will eventually be.

It’s a struggle, sometimes, to figure this stuff out. I can say that around the different corners I’ve encountered since becoming a widow, nothing has been so bad that I can’t handle it. It’s painful, sure, but I’ve finally learned that the worst probably won’t kill you, and if it does, it really doesn’t matter after that.

It’s made me braver. I’ve taken to changing things in my life that would otherwise cause me to run the other way. I’ve made the decision to step up to the plate instead of wait in the stands and cheer. Regardless of my outcome, I’ve decided to play the game.

Right now, I’m very anxious. I’m in the middle of different prospects and different roads to take. I’m in control over what happens next (mostly), and it’s exhilarating and frightening at the same time. I’m not being impulsive, because that’s irresponsible. It’s much scarier when you know what you’re doing and know about the possibility of failure.

But I know that people have walked this road long before I have, and have made it to the end of it, whether they succeeded in their agenda or not. It’s not that I have nothing to lose, but really, it’s time that I gained.

For now, I’m still in Limbo. I’m still waiting for the next plateau. Or the next landing, if anything.

I have been blessed with patience. All things in the right time.

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