When Jon was little, his dad played this song often. He and his brother grew up with it a part of them. When it would come on the radio, he would turn it up and listen, remembering the good things from his childhood.

We met in person the first time, in 1999. The same year that he graduated and the same year that my first daughter was born. It was a good year.

Sometime in January, I thought about releasing 99 red balloons in his memory, and because he would think it was really cool that I managed to pull it off.

Well, today I did. With the help of about 60 friends and family members, we remembered Jon’s legacy, and his life. We were grateful that we survived a very hard year, and we promised to never forget who he was, and what we knew of him.

And I think I came to terms with MYSELF this past week. I finally accepted that I don’t have to be anything more than what I want to be. I don’t have to find someone to replace him, I don’t have to pretend that I’m not still grieving, and I don’t have to do this by myself.
As much as my friends and family have been saying; it’s been difficult to accept on my own. But I make my own rules. I follow the faith that I want to follow, and I know that regardless of what happens or how long I live, I’ll see my husband again someday. And we’ll be reunited for an Eternity.

99 red balloons
99 dreams I have had.
In every one a red balloon.
It’s all over and I’m standing pretty.
In this dust that was a city.
If I could find a souvenier.
Just to prove the world was here.
And here is a red balloon
I think of you and let it go.