This is the Eulogy I wrote for Jon’s funeral. I was the first reader, and even though it has little structure or continuity, it was everything I wanted to say.
I can’t believe I had the guts to speak. I don’t know where that came from. Anyway, due to specific request:
Jon’s Eulogy
Thank you for joining me today. Today is the day that we say goodbye to our Brother,our friend, our son, and my husband, Jonathan Kintner.

For those that don’t know me, I am his wife, Maria.

I first met Jonathan in 1997 in the chatroom, and although we didn’t start dating until 2003, we were good friends. But that was true of everyone who knew Jon. He was good friends with everyone. If you knew him, and spoke to him, he was your friend.

Jon is often described as the guy who would “drive across town to give someone a ride,” or walking into a room saying “Howdy!” or “Hows it goin?”

He was always happy to see a friendly face, and to those he grew close with, he was committed to being their friend. It didn’t matter if you hadn’t seen him in 6 months or 2 years, if you had known him once, you would always know him. And he would always consider you a friend.

When Jon and I started dating, I was in a bad place. I was separated from my ex-husband, and I had a young daughter I was trying to raise. He told me often that Aurora and I came as a set, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. Indeed, Aurora and Jon became very close. She would tell everyone that Jon was “Our best friend”, and he spent a lot time with us, just hanging out and having a good time. He never pressured me to be anything I wasn’t, and didn’t get frustrated at the amount of time I needed to spend with Aurora.

Before we even realized what was happening to us, we had fallen hard for eachother. He was braver than I was, and was the first to speak those three words. One night, on my porch, while we were standing there, prolonging our goodbye, he whispered in my ear: Maria…I love you.

I was so stunned, I couldn’t speak. It was so romantic and sweet. Of course I loved him too, but I didn’t say it right away. I wanted to wait until I said it because of how I felt. Not because he said to me first and I felt I had to answer. He told me later that I scared him. He thought I didn’t feel the same. But I did. I was just so happy that he felt that way about me

In 2006, Jon and I were busy people, and struggling with work and life. It was completely unexpected that we became pregnant, but he was so excited that he was going to be a father.
I was too! I couldn’t even wait until he picked me up from work that night to tell him. I told him right after I heard his voice on the phone.

I said: “It’s positive”

“What is?” He asked me.

And I answered, “I’m pregnant”

What followed was a barrage of happy exclamations and laughter. He was out to lunch with his buddies, and couldn’t wait to tell them. It was such a great day. His reaction made me confident that he would be a wonderful father, simply because he wanted to be.

Weslee’s birth opened his eyes to a whole new world. He suddenly became fascinated with her development and growth. Aurora became more of a daughter to him, and his family became his first priority. When he would come home at night, he’d swoop Weslee in his arms and cradle her all night long. She was his pride and joy. He helped bathe and change her, and was present at nearly every doctor’s appointment. He was determined to be a full-time father, and wanted to be in every part of her life.

He was also a very proud step-father. There were many nights when he went over Aurora’s homework with her, teaching her the multiplication tables and correcting her mistakes. He praised her acheivements and tried very hard to attend all her activities. With Aurora, he carved pumpkins and made breakfasts for me. He tickled, wrestled and played with her like his own child, and grew overprotective when she told him about boys that had crushes on her in school.

Both girls lit up his life more than anything I have ever seen. It breaks my heart to know that they only had so much of his love and guidance.

Jon also had the best sense of humor. He had many funny nicknames around his various jobs and friends. He was always doing something funny, or saying something funny. And if he wasn’t, he was wearing something funny on his t-shirt. His wit was so dry and quick, it would sling past you before you realized what he said, and then you would erupt in uncontrollable laughter, genuinely enjoying his joke. It always seemed to sneak up on people, but truly, he was always coming up with side remarks. The closer we became, the more I realized that he had a deeper, sharper wit than most people I knew.

It is no surprise that everyone who knew him loved him. Everyone who was lucky enough to be his friend, was gifted with his friendship. He was a very loving and kind man.

His intelligence was unparalleled, and he often outgrew jobs because he simply had no challenge. But he made friends with co-workers easily, and built an incredible rapport with many people in his industry. He was respected for his knowledge and dedication on the job. And he was regarded as highly-dependable, even when he didn’t have to be.

One of my favorite memories of Jonathan involves a concert he took me to, in 2003. It was called the inland invasion, and it had bands like The Cure, and Duran Duran. There were so many different bands there, that it seemed impossible to see them all. I remember he fell asleep during Fountains of Wayne, but woke up just in time to see The Violent Femmes.

And then, as the stars came out over the Inland Empire, Jon and I held eachother during The Cure. I remember singing to him the lyrics of LoveSong, and looking into his eyes. I wanted him to know that no matter how far away I went, that I would always love him, and no matter how long I stayed away, I would always love him. He answered quietly “I will always love you..”

The following is a poem I wrote him in 2005. It’s call six thousand miles, because that was the distance between us when I was in Germany.

I was there in the ages, when the skies
showed stars close enough to pick like apples
off glittering trees. I loved you then.

It grows fierce with every passing era,
when we win this game of hide and seek,
and relish in the lifetimes, the same eyes
of every color, that always look back at us.

And I will love you still, when I am lost
without words, and someone else. A painting with
no voice. An artist with just fingers to tell my story.
We are timeless and hopelessly dancing in these spheres;
a million years of love; a thousand centuries of knowing.

I was born to know this. I will die in love, and having you in
different faces; different mouths to learn and kiss,
until we are sapphires in the twinkle of God’s eye

Jonathan…I know you said I love you first. And I know I will be the one to say it last.

I love you. I promise to take care of our girls the best way I can.

Until we meet again…